Sex marks the spot
by Senpai.Kush
Summary: CURSE YOU HYOOMANS! XDD Uhh heres another solo fanfic, I suck at summaries so ur gonna have to click to see what its about. I don't own any Invader Zim crap.


A word of warning: The following the story is extremely retarded and I guarantee it will give you more nightmares than the actual show. Also, it does contain many weird scenes. If you have not realized that from the title, I have every right to call you a moron.

"CCCHHKK commander speaking CCHHSSHHK this is COMMANDER ZIM! MAYDAY MAYDAY MISSION ABORT!"

"GAHHH THE STUPIDITY, IT BURNS! Stupidity overload!"

"Professor Membrane! Professor Membrane!"

"WHAT WHAT WHAT?!"

"Where's Gir?!" Zim and Dib turned their heads.

Gir barged into the room and started dancing and singing while the rest stared at him.

"I'm too sexy for my SEXY too sexy for my sexy!" said Gir. He turned around and there was a "kick me" sign on the back of him.

Gir kept dancing and he was shaking his butt then Zim snuck up behind him and kicked him right in the heinie. "AAAHHHHHHHHH WHY YOU LITTLE-" Gir started to seductively pull his zipper down showing off his hot, robotic body.

"PUT YOUR DISGUISE BACK ON!" said Zim.

"Why does GIR get all the stinkin attention?" said Dib.

"Don't you just hate that they only put Gir all over our merchandise and not us? People only recognize Gir. Screw you, Gir!"

"W-WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE SO-O UGLYYYY! LOOK AT US!" said Zim.

"The evil cheese has defeated us! Man your stations! Run alert! Run alert!" said Professor Membrane.

"ONE DAY US ALIENS WILL TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE! MWAHAHAH!" Said Zim.

Gir left the room because he had to go empty his bladder in the lavatory. "Wait, you're a robot! How can you take a piss?!" said Dib.

"You don't know what I got!" said Gir.

"Great, now I'm stuck alone with this alien bozo, ONE DAY I WILL EXPOSE YOU!" said Dib.

"HEY, WHY DON'T YOU SHUT YOUR TRAP AND GET A LIFE, CREEP! OR ELSE I'LL-" said Zim.

Dib pushed Zim on a table. "FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT, LET GO OF ME, WEIRDO!"

Dib started to pull up Zim's short pink dress. "Uh… what the crap are you doing…?" said Zim.

Zim is a boy but he always wore a stupid pink dress all the freaking time for unknown reasons. Dib secretly thought he looked cute, and he always stalks Zim because he is obsessed with supernatural crap and always trying to find a chance to expose him as an alien and they were classmates stuck in outer space together.

"This dress really brings out the color of your eyes, Zim. I also love your green complexion! I wanna explore you!"

"Well, we're TRAPPED! TRAPPED I TELL YOU!" said Zim.

Dib put his head under Zim's dress and started to "explore" him. He pulled down Zim's white panties and showed his little green heinie.

Dib bit Invader Zim's ass "YOWWW MY HEINIE! MY HEINIE! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO MY ASS! MY BUTTOCKS ARE BLEEDING!"

Just then Gir barged back into the room and saw everything. He liked what he saw and his robo balls started to turn into hardware under his cheap green dog costume.

Gir was holding a can of whipping cream in his paw. "SEXY TIME!" shouted Gir. Then he sprayed the entire container of whip cream all over Dib and Zim and danced all around.

"Dammit, Gir!" said Zim.

Gir started to lick the whip cream off them. "Mmmm yum yum YUM!"

"T-This CAN'T be happening right now!" said Zim. "And you nitwits are so KINKY!"

"Hey who you calling a nitwit, nincompoop?" said Dib.

"MAKE ME!" Zim said back.

"Ok tell you what," said Gir. "You let me get a high-res picture of your balls and I'll-"

"DO YOU REALLY WANNA TRY ME, BITCH TITS?!" said Zim. "I WILL BEAT THE LIVE SHIT OUT OF YOU!"

"LET ME GO IN YOUR PANTS, ZIMMY!" said Gir.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, AND I'M NOT WEARING PANTS!" said Zim, gesturing to his stupid attire.

Dib walked over to the computer and Zim and Gir followed him. Dib sat down and went on the internet.

"Hey, stop looking at my Facebook, fuckboy!" said Zim.

"Bitch, don't tell me how to live my life!" Dib said back.

"ARE WE GONNA HAVE SEX IN OUTER SPACE OR WHAT?!" Gir shouted out of nowhere. "I thought we were gonna get FREAKY!"

Zim grabbed Dib and slammed his face on the keyboard several times. "THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE, FAGGOT!" He said.

Gir shook the can and shot whip cream all over them again. "OH YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABOUT! YOU TWO LOOK LIKE FLUFFY UNICORNS AHAHAHA!"

"DID WE FUCKING ASK FOR MORE WHIP CREAM?!" said Zim.

"You know you want me ;)" Gir said.

"GAHHHHH!" Zim started to pull his hair out.

"Say, why don't we line it up in this shit…?" said Dib.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" said Zim.

"I'M GONNA INSERT A POTATO PEELER IN YOUR ARSE AND SPIN IT AROUND! EHEHEAHAHA!" shouted Gir.

Dib and Zim looked at that guy. "Are you high, Gir?"

"Wait- are you going to rape my heinie again?" said Zim.

"Like father, like son!" answered Dib.

"Hey, guess what?" said Gir.

"WILL YOU QUIT INTERUPTING US?!" shouted Zim.

Dib grabbed Zim and started to give him a hickey. "Oww! What the hell are you doing, pervert?!" said Zim. Dib and Zim were smooching each other and they made out like crazy.

"Dib and Zimmy sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G!" sang Gir.

"WILL YOU EVER SHUT UP? All you do is play with your balls and shove remote controllers up your ass all day!" said Zim.

"I love you, Zim!" said Dib.

"Aw, I love you too, Dib!" said Zim.

"Uh, I'm feeling a little left out here!" said Gir.

Gir left the room and Zim and Dib held hands and started passionately licking each other's tongues. Zim sucked Dib's cock and they both loved every second of that shit.

Dib started pulling up Zim's little pink dress while he pointed his bare heinie at him. Dib grinned and was ready to get it on.

"You got the lubricant?" said Zim.

"Always! And it's bacon flavored hehe!" said Dib.

5 minutes later...

"Aw, FUCK YEAH! THAT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD! TOO BAD GIR'S MISSING OUT ON THIS! HARDER DIB! MMM YEAH!" said Zim.

Just then, Gir came back in the room with Professer Membrane A.K.A. Dib's father. Gir was jealous so he tattle-taled to his dad and they both walked back in the room and saw Dib's cock in Zim's arse.

"Oh look, it's professor Membrane." Said Zim.

"AH-HA! BUSTED!" shouted Gir. "THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR DOING INNAPROPRIATE SHIT!"

"Does anyone smell jealousy?" said Dib with a grin.

"I'M NOT JEALOUS, YOU HECKING CUNT!" said Gir. "Whoops, sorry for the foul language heehee."

"Son, I'M SO PROUD!" said Professor Membrane as he shed a tear of joy from his eye.

"W-WHAT?! YOU LET THEM OFF THE HOOK?!" said Gir.

"Uh, you guys didn't just see that…" said Zim. *runs off to the nearest asylum*

FIN

Uh, so that was my story and overall I thought it was pretty stupid, well at least it was creative. Sorry not sorry if that ruined your childhood. Also please don't sue me, I don't own any thing all rights to the creator. Please don't post any negative reviews because I can't delete them, if you wanna say something rude message me so I can delete it.

Alas, I'm only 16 and I hope you all enjoyed this, and check out my page if you want more.


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